I swear I need to start drinking bottled water at work.
The number of baby showers I have been to this year alone, makes me wonder if they are putting fertility drugs in the watercooler.
Although watching half a dozen women around me blossoming with motherhood does stir my maternal instincts a bit, the fact that I have to set a calendar reminder on my phone to water our house plant gives me pause.
Robert shares similar reservations about a baby making three at this point in our life. He prefers to display his paternal tendencies by dispensing fatherly wisdom to my friends, and preventing me from walking into things.
So we got a dog.
Introducing Thelonious Bones Patterson Hill, also known as TBone.
I found this squishy face online and adopted him from Blues City Animal Rescue in Memphis.
He is a sleepy pitbull mix whose fears range from plastic cups and toilet paper, to simply walking through the halls of our house.
When he lies wheezing on the couch, I feel a twinge of gratefulness that we were able to rescue him from what may have been a dangerous fate.
It’s like the Blind Side, except instead of becoming a professional football player, he just became chubby, and now has his own Instagram account.
Not only does Bone Thug’s snuggly demeanor bring joy to my heart, but Robert and I have become even closer because of our shared love for him.
Getting a pet together isn’t for every couple, however. Much like a real child, a pet should never be used to tether a wayward lover to your side, or try to fix any existing issues.
Entering into pet parenthood should be undertaken with the same consideration and commitment as moving in with one another.
Do it for the right reasons, and be in it for the long haul.
If, after much deliberation and soul-searching, you both feel like you are ready to add a third to your family, you won’t regret enriching your lives with the love of a pet.
9 Reasons Why You Should Adopt A Pet With Your Significant Other
- Weed Out Murderers- If your significant other “isn’t a pet person,” they are probably a serial killer, and you should just get out now, before they fashion you into a sassy vest.
- Responsibility- Walking, feeding, and covering vet bills for your fuzzball forces you to rearrange your priorities, and focus on what matters.
- A Litter of Your Own- If your girlfriend dresses your cat up in sailor outfits, or forgets to feed him, your future child probably awaits a similar fate.
- Good Excuses- “Sorry, we have to get home to let the dog out,” is code for, “We really just want to go eat pizza in bed.”
- Activities- Walking the dog, or taking him to the dog park is a fun, cheap activity to do together. Tormenting your cat with a laser pointer is an equally entertaining option.
- Protection- This one doesn’t actually apply to me, because my dog is a wimp.
- Shared Interests- Robert and I love laughing together at TBone when he falls off the couch, or startles himself with a loud fart.
- Possible Internet Celebrity- Everyone has heard of Grumpy Cat, and don’t even pretend you’ve never binge-watched kitten videos on Youtube instead of being productive.
- They’re Freakin’ Cute- ‘Nuff said.
How to Adopt a Pet
Don’t know where to find a cuddly companion? There are plenty of adoptable pets at local shelters, just waiting to abruptly stick their nose in your crotch.